40 B4 40: Build Something

For the past year, I've been wanting a craft table, but nothing I ever found was just perfect (read: big enough). Then, about a month ago, I ran across a blog that had plans for a simple saw horse table, and I knew I'd found not only my table, but an opportunity to check #37 Build Something off my 40 Things I Want to Do Before I Turn 40 list.

First, I built the saw horse "legs" for the table.  And stained them black.

Thing 1 helping Superman cut my boards

Wood filler done and sanded

Saw horses done

Then, I found an old door and stained it black.

The saw horses really work!

Then....  TA-DA!

I can't wait to have this covered with a craft project!

This is literally a huge improvement over my old craft table!

Too tiny!

I can't wait to build something else!

40 B4 40: My little garden

A few weeks back, I wrote that I had finally planted a tiny garden, which allowed me to cross off #13 and #14 on my list of 40 things I want to do before I turn 40.

Here are some updated pictures of said garden:

My little garden

Bell pepper

Mmm fresh basil!

Jalapeno peppers

More Jalapenos

Tomatoes

Cherry tomatoes

I have another big 40 B4 40 update coming soon! I'm really excited about being almost finished with this project!

This is an ugly post

I hate the "I was abused" defense.

I hate it.

Oh, I know what you are thinking "How can you judge someone unless you've walked in their shoes? You have no idea how that could mess a person up."

Well, I'm going to share something with you that I've only shared with very few people in my life:

I was sexually abused as a young child.

I haven't shared this with many people for all of the myriad of reasons people generally don't share things like this...

It's embarrassing.

I didn't want to make other people uncomfortable.

I don't want to hurt the people indirectly involved.

And hell, maybe tomorrow I'll regret this coming out and wish I'd just kept it pushed in the back of my mind, but right now I'm furious.

I don't know whether Casey Anthony killed her daughter or not.  Obviously the circumstantial evidence piled high against her.  But I'm furious that she and her defense team used the allegations of childhood sexual abuse as some sort of excuse for her erratic and neglectful behavior as a mother.

Sure she partied when she should have been looking for her missing daughter, but oh poor Casey was abused as a child, so you can understand....

No.  No, I can't.

My emotional scars don't make me neglect my sons...they've done the opposite.  They've made me become what some would deem overly protective about their care.

They are why I refused to put my sons in daycare.  They are why I have only let a handful of selective people (mainly their grandparents and godmother) babysit them.

I could never leave them alone in a room, even for two minutes with someone I didn't trust 100% to not hurt them, because I won't allow my child to have to endure the kind of trauma that I did.  Even if other people can't understand why I don't "just hire a sitter".

I'm not saying I don't think she was abused.   I wouldn't presume to know the answer to that.  But I do not accept said abuse as some kind of defense for her deplorable actions (and I'm counting all of them, regardless of whether she actually murdered her daughter).

I've kept quiet about this for a long time.  As most people do.  It's a dirty secret we try to bury deep inside and not think about.  Maybe I wouldn't even be coming clean now if it weren't for the perceived anonymity of the internet.

But reading these articles.  Seeing the way that the defense tried to manipulate and exploit a very real, tender, and hurtful subject as a way to excuse her actions (or non-actions)...I just have to say, as a "survivor" myself, that abuse is not an excuse!

My new favorite thing

I love pajamas.  I especially love kids in pajamas.  I especially especially love Thing 1 and Thing 2 in pajamas.  The only problem: pajamas are expensive.

I am a bargain hunter.  At the end of almost every season, my favorite shopping partner in crime (my mother-in-law) and I go and buy all the clothes the boys will need for the next year at the clearance prices.  If you go in my basement right now, you will find totes upon totes filled with 4T, 5T, and 6T boys clothes.  Shirts, shorts, sweaters, shoes, underwear, swimming trunks, you name it.  In fact, I probably already own the outfit they'll wear on their first day of kindergarten!

A shirt on sale for $10?  Ha!  Come talk to me when it's marked down 75%!  I speak red-line clearance fluently.

Now, I'm just a bargain hunter.  My mother-in-law, she is a professional compulsive shopper.  She cannot pass up a "good buy."  Combine our two personalities and you have a deadly combination leading to an overfull closet of marked down clothes.  (I won't point fingers of who won't stop buying long after they have more than plenty, but her name begins with "grand" and ends with "ma.")

But what we don't have overflowing...pajamas.  Why?  Because pajamas are expensive, and they never seem to go on clearance.  Sure, you might catch a buy 1 get 1 half off sale, but where I can routinely find name brand shirts for $2 and jeans for $3.50, I can never seem to find the same amazing deals on bedtime clothes.

This summer, we are the lowest on pajamas that we've ever been.  We literally have 3 pairs of 4T short sleeve/short combination pajamas.  I've been rotating those with a few pairs of 3T pairs I have left over from last summer.  For a while, it was working, but then...

Weird Science called.  Wyatt wants his shirt back.

The 1970s called.  The NBA wants their shorts back.

Obviously the boys needed new pajamas, but I didn't want to spend $15 a pair on outfits that never even leave the house!  And I didn't want to put Grandma-shop-aholic on the case, because I just wanted a few pair, not 20!  One look at their closet jam packed with tshirts, and you know she has no self-restraint.  Half of those shirts they've never even worn.

Wait...I have a plethora of shirts they've never worn....  EUREKA!

Instead of buying more pajamas, I headed over to Burlington and picked up a few packs of Hanes toddler boxers (did you know they made boxers for toddlers?!?!).  Two packs of 2 for $5.  Score!

Then, I match the cute plaid boxers with one of their millions of unworn tshirts and...PRESTO!  Instant pajamas!

But the best part...better than saving money....  Is they look so freaking adorable!!  Seriously, I thought seeing them march around in their little tighty whiteys was adorable...but I swear the boxer/tshirt combo is even cuter!  (That, or my boys get cuter everyday.  That is a possibility too!)

So there you go...if you have a little boy, and you want to help out your hurting wallet...skip the pajama aisle and head over to the underwear.  Pick up a few pairs of brightly colored boxers and pair them with matching tshirts that you probably already have plenty of.  I promise you won't miss the pajama cute factor!