Hormonal Decisions (Guest Blogger)

A friend of mine named Sarah, who blogs at I Love Nail Polish (you should check her out!), told me a while back about unexpected complications she'd had from having her tubes tied after her second child.  I had never heard of these complications before, so I thought it would be interesting to have her write a guest blog about her experience.  Like I said in yesterday, everybody and every body is different, what works well for some might not work well for others, and vice versa.  The key is to make informed decisions for yourself.  So with that, let's welcome Sarah!....

It’s a Girl!

With that announcement I knew Adam and I would need to discuss permanent birth control. Prior to my pregnancy with Bryce I was on “the pill” for about 7 years. Afterward, I had the Mirena IUD for 3. At my 20 week ultrasound, we learned our second child would be a girl, thus (for us) completing our little family. At my next OB/GYN appointment, Adam and I talked briefly with the doc that this baby would be our last. The OB/GYN practice I was using had several practitioners; each patient was required to have an appointment with each doctor. At every appointment we explained to each doctor that this would be our last baby. One doctor suggested the Essure procedure. Essure is a permanent birth control procedure that works with your body to create a natural barrier to prevent pregnancy. To find out more about Essure, ask your OB/GYN and visit www.essure.com.

For me the cons of Essure were:

• It would mean an additional OB/GYN visit.
• Additional cost, as it was not approved by my insurance.
• I’d never heard of it before and it looked strange. (I wasn’t exactly excited to have inserted into my vagina what looked a whole lot like mattress springs, just on a smaller scale.)

The other choice in permanent birth control was a tubal ligation (AKA having my tubes tied). So, that was that. I honestly didn’t ask a whole lot of questions, with only two options tubal ligation seemed to me to be the “only” choice.

Courtesy of theprickcushion.com

What I understood about having my tubes tied was

• It’s 99% effective.
• It could be done immediately after giving birth to Maggie.
• It is covered 100% by insurance.
• It is “permanent,” unless one decided to have a reversal.
• It is the most common form of birth control among married women.

What I didn’t know, but found out later

• Post tubal ligation syndrome is more prevalent than the medical community will admit.
• Afterward, most women need some kind of hormonal support, in the way of hormone replacement therapy or birth control pills.
• Many women experience emotional changes so severe their mood can only be improved with anti depressant treatment.

My personal experience is not one of regret because I am no longer able to have children; the regret stems from not educating myself or exploring other options. It turns out that tubal ligation is more costly and has more complications than a vasectomy. Looking back, continuing use of the Mirena may have been a good solution until we thoroughly researched all of our options. Since having the tubal ligation in May of 2009 my body has gone into what my doc is calling “early menopause.” At the age of 32 it was the last thing I thought I’d be experiencing. My OB/GYN recommended hormone replacement or I could try taking birth control pills to see if they helped. I wasn’t going to take birth control pills; why should I pay for more birth control and put anymore hormones into my system? Instead, I suffer terrible night sweats and hot flashes so severe they send my coworkers searching for sweaters to escape the frigid temps in my office. Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome (PTS) is not something I ever heard or read about prior to my own experience. PTS results from a rapid decline in estrogen levels due from the blood supply being damaged to the ovaries during the TL surgery.

Symptoms of PTS are:

1. Eptopic pregnancy or pregnancy-I was unaware of the number of women who experience these following a TL.

1a.Hot flashes, flushes, night sweats and/or cold flashes, clammy feeling, chills

2. Bouts of rapid heart beat

3. Irritability

4. Mood swings, sudden tears (I’ve been on Zoloft since my pregnancy, without it, I am mush)

5. Trouble sleeping through the night (with or without night sweats)

6. Irregular periods; shorter, lighter periods; heavier periods, flooding; phantom periods, shorter cycles, longer cycles

7. Loss of libido (not having this)

8. Dry vagina (or this)

8a.Itchy vagina-at time raw like, can radiated from whole area, with absence of yeast infections. (or this)

8b. Color change in vaginal area. (color gets darker - purple/black) (or this)

9. Crashing fatigue (sometimes)

10.Anxiety, feeling ill at ease (for real)

11.Feelings of dread, apprehension, doom (again without the Zoloft I’m a wreck)

12.Difficulty concentrating, disorientation, mental confusion (seriously!)

13.Disturbing memory lapses (yeppers)

14.Incontinence, especially upon sneezing, laughing; urge incontinence (hmmm, this is particularly bothersome)

14a.Prolapse of uterus do to rapid decress in estrogen levels.

15.Itchy, crawly skin (not experiencing this)

16.Aching, sore joints, muscles and tendons

17.Increased tension in muscles

18.Breast tenderness (not this one either)

18a. Decrease in breast mass (definitely no trouble here)

19.Headache change: increase or decrease

20.Gastrointestinal distress, indigestion, flatulence, gas pain, nausea (yep, had to have my first colonscopy due to blood in my stool and vomiting blood)

21.Sudden bouts of bloat --sucks

22.Depression (Zoloft, 200 mg PO QD)

23.Exacerbation of existing conditions --??

24.Increase in allergies --yes

25.Weight gain (everything “except Weight Watchers” makes me gain weight..primarily food is the culprit though)

26.Hair loss or thinning, head, pubic, or whole body; increase in facial hair (…ewe glad I’m not experiencing this)

27.Dizziness, light-headedness, episodes of loss of balance –yep this is scary

28.Changes in body odor –I don’t think so

29.Electric "shock" or "stabbing" sensation under the skin. --nah

30.Tingling in the extremities, --nah

31.Gum problems, increased bleeding --nah

32.Burning tongue, burning roof of mouth, bad taste in mouth, change in breath odor --nah

33.Osteoporosis (after several years)

34.Changes in fingernails: softer, crack or break easier –nah

If those life changing symptoms aren’t enough to scare a person out of having a tubal ligation I’m not sure what would be. However, the beauty of living in the U.S. is that women are able to make these decisions for ourselves. And we do have options. It’s too late for my hormonal mess, but do yourself (and your spouse) a favor and do a lot of research, ask other women, talk to your doctor(s) and explore every option available.

TMI pt 2

**Warning male readers...turn back now**


So, months back I wrote a blog post entitled TMI and I urged my man friends not to read it.

One good friend emailed me and said "Uh....I shouldn't have read that."  And I said "I warned you."  And he said "I know, but I was curious."

I'm sure he thought it was going to be a post giving all the secrets to pleasing a woman sexually....and then he was severely disappointed to read that it was about menstrual cups.  :)

Well, here is my warning again, in plain English: Men do NOT read this post.  Unless you like reading about vaginas.  The inside of vaginas.

Okay, if they haven't turned back now, it's their own fault!

So, today I'm going to talk about IUDs.  IUDs, if you don't know, are contraceptive devices that are inserted through your vagina and up into your uterus. They are left there for YEARS! to prevent pregnancy.  (5 years for Mirena*, 7 years for Paraguard*)

I'm not going to get all medical on you here.  If you want to know more about IUDs, you can google them or read about them on wikipedia.  And if any of the facts I give you are wrong, sorry, I'm not a doctor.

I'm just going to share my own personal experience here.  In my layman's terms.

First, I'll tell you what birth control we have used and why we stopped.

The Pill.  I used the pill for 10 years with great success. But for some reason when I restarted the pill after I stopped breast feeding, I just kept forgetting to take it.  I tried to take them when I brushed my teeth in the morning, but I was even forgetting that sometimes (don't worry, I keep a back up tooth brush and paste in my desk at work just for this reason).  I thought the habit might come back if I just gave it time, but I was on it for about 6 months and STILL kept missing pills.  This was no bueno for a couple that got pregnant with twins the exact month she went off the pill.

Nuva Ring*.  I actually really liked the Nuva-Ring.  My doctor gave me 3 or 4 rings to sample, and I was very happy with them.  I especially liked the "set it and forget it" convenience that I so badly needed, and I experienced none of the possible side affects.  But it was $45 a month.  Not to be crass, but Superman and I were just not having $45 worth of sex a month.  I know, I did the math.  We needed to up our monthly copulation averages, or find another route of contraception.


Condoms. I was surprised that Superman was willing to go for this method, considering we had dumped condoms long ago into our courtship (we were monogamous and got tested for all the STDs first young ladies!), and I always just assumed men hated condoms.  But this was a cheap method that was pretty effective (we used it for over 2 years with no pregnancies!). However, there are some draw backs.  Just to name one....While we typically had a healthy supply in our bedside table, we were terrible about having them with us outside of the house.  And there were the occasions where we felt spontaneously amorous, but lack of protection kept us from being able to act on those impulses.  (Hey, we are married, not dead!)


I had heard about IUDs before, but had heard mostly negative things about them.  I had a few friends/acquaintances who had used them and complained of terrible cramping and lots of break through bleeding, and in the end had had them removed. (Actually, one said hers came out!)  So while the concept sounded great (insert a device, minimal hormones, last for 5/7 years) I couldn't bring myself to look past the bad reviews.  But overtime, the more I thought about the IUDs the more I thought: if they are as bad as my friends say, why are so many women still using them?  Then I thought back to all of the negative reviews I'd read about the Nuva Ring after I had already started it.  I had experienced none of the symptoms and complications those women reported.

So I decided that the only way to know for sure if the IUD would work for me, was to give it a try.

At my next annual visit to my OBGYN, I let her know that I would like to try an IUD.  We talked about the pros and cons of Mirena and Paraguard, the two leading IUDs and she sent me on my way with literature and instructions to call me when I started my next period.  (The IUD is inserted during the last days of menstruation, since the cervix is softer.)  Also, during this time, her office staff would contact my insurance to find out what they would cover for each of my two choices.

Here is a break down of my choices:

Mirena

• A plastic device that uses a very low dose of progesterone locally into your uterus.  Now, my doctor wanted me on very low or no hormone birth control, so originally I was not considering Mirena because of this, but it turns out that Mirena is okay because it doesn't use estrogen, and because the hormone is distributed locally and very little of the hormone gets into your actual blood stream.
• Lasts for 5 years
• Because it uses hormones, majority of users report lighter periods (less cramping, lighter flow, less days) and many users report that periods go away completely after about 6 months.

Para Guard

• A plastic device that has copper coils.  The best I could understand was that no one knows exactly why the copper works, but that they think it kills sperm.
• Lasts for 7 years
• Many users report that their periods are actually heavier and longer than before insertion.

Both devices are 99% effective at preventing pregnancy.  And as it turns out, both were covered 100% by my insurance company.  All I had to pay for was my actual appointment for the placement (just a doctor's visit co-pay) and the cost of my 6 week post-placement check up exam (another doctor's visit co-pay).  So for me, that was $80 for 5 or 7 years of birth control!


So, I decided that I was going to try Mirena.  The idea of lighter (and possibly no) periods just sounded too good to pass up.  So, the first day of my menstrual cycle in December, I called and made my appointment.

The actual placement was not too bad.  It wasn't pleasant, but I wasn't screaming or crying or anything.  Imagine if you will a pap smear, but instead of the swabbing portion taking 10 seconds, it took a minute.  It really wasn't a long amount of time, but it seemed like forever when I was naked from the waist down and my hoo-ha was being held wide open by a plastic crank.  The first thing they did was insert a speculum and opened it up, just like a pap.  Then, she measured my uterus, to make sure it was big enough for the device.  I don't remember exactly how much mine measured, but she assured me that it greatly surpassed the minimum. She said I could thank having twins to stretching that bad boy out.  (I think this is also why IUDs used to only be recommended for women who had already experienced a pregnancy.)  Then, she inserted the device using a special tool-thingy.  It didn't take long, just about 30 seconds of pressure and a slight pinching feeling.  Then she cut the string that was dangling through the cervix into the vagina.  Then she was done.

Afterwards I did have a funny pinchy feeling.  It is difficult to describe, because it wasn't quite in the hoo-ha, but it was "down there" in that region.  I had been forewarned of pain by the literature, so I was prepared with a bottle of ibuprofen.  I took two, then headed back to work.  I felt kind of crampy, like normal menstrual crampy, but otherwise I felt fine.

When I got home, I was curious, so I felt for my string.  It didn't feel like a string at all, it felt stiff, more like fishing wire.

Later than night, Superman and I decided to celebrate our condom-free lifestyle by taking it out for a spin. (Another bonus to the IUDs, they are effective against pregnancy from the moment of insertion, no waiting a few hours or 30 days.)  I was curious if he could feel anything, but of course he couldn't.  I've read some women say that their partners were poked by the stiff string, but we didn't experience this.  I actually was a bit uncomfortable, and certain positions were down right bad.  A small part of me worried that certain positions would have to be taken out of our rotation for good, since they actually shorten the vaginal canal and allow the penis to penetrate deeper.  (I did title this blog TMI, y'all!)  Looking back, I should have just waited a few days before trying to have sex, and that is what I'd recommend to others.

Since I was already on the tale end of my cycle, my bleeding was incredibly light.  It could best be described as spotty.  I did expect it would get heavy again after the placement, but it didn't.  But the spotting did last a big longer than if I'd had a normal cycle.  I think I had to wear a pantyliner for like a week afterwards.

By a week after my placement, my spotting was gone.  I could no longer feel any cramping or pinching.  And by this time we had tried having sex again and no positions were off limits.

A month later I had my first post-placement menstruation and it was mostly normal.  I normally have one day of bad cramping (usually the 2nd day), 3-4 heavy days where I use my menstrual cup, and then 1-2 days where a panty liner suffices. For this period, I did notice that my usually heavy days seemed a little less heavy, and by the 3rd day it was almost light enough that I didn't need the cup.  Almost.

I had no breakthrough bleeding.  No non-menstruation cramping.  Things were going so well that for just a second I worried that maybe it had fallen out, like the woman who'd warned me about her bad experience.  I decided to try and feel for the string just to check.  I couldn't feel it.  I enlisted Superman to help (there was a lot of bribing for this!) and he couldn't feel it.  I wasn't panicked enough to call the doctor though.

At the end of January, I went back for my 6 week post-placement check up and crossed my fingers that it was still there.  She examined me and said everything looked great.  She said the reason that I couldn't feel the string was because it had curled up (I've read they tend to curl up and soften over time), but that it was still perfectly in place.  I was cleared as good to go until my next annual pap smear.

A few weeks later, I started my second post-placement menstruation.  And this one was so not normal.  I've had no cramping.  None!  And I had two very light days, followed by one day that I used my cup (but never got a significant amount of stuff), and then four days of light-pantyliner bleeding.


So, in the end, I've been using Mirena for almost 3 months and I have experienced no side effects.  I have experienced no breakthrough bleeding (this was a major problem for a good friend of mine who tried it before), no cramping (I heard a lot of this prior to my placement), it hasn't fallen out, it's not affecting our sex life, my blood pressure has not been affected by the hormones, and my periods are less intense and getting shorter. (Knock on wood, but I'm hoping my next post-placement menstruation will be even lighter than this last one was!)

So, my recommendation to anyone who is interested in the IUD: give it a try.  Remember that everybody (and every body) is different. Just because it wasn't a good fit for your best friend, that does not mean it won't work well for you.  And don't spend a lot of time looking for opinions on chatboards...remember that people generally run to those after bad experiences.  Most people having good experiences don't feel the compulsion to share it with the world.  Which is exactly why I wanted to write this blog and share my good experience.

I promised myself pre-placement that I would give the IUD 3 months.  If after 3 months I wasn't happy, that I would have it removed.  But, I think based on the last 2.5 months that the Mirena has surpassed my expectations, and I predict that I won't be going to have it removed until December 2016.

I hope that you've found this blog useful in helping you make a decision.  If you have, please leave me a comment, and share your experience with an IUD here.  Especially if you've had a positive experience.

*I have not been solicited or paid or in any way encouraged to mention any of the products on this page, this blog is completely and totally my own opinion.

TMI (Not for men!)

**Warning male readers...turn back now**

I mean it!

Tampons...pads...yeast infections...

Okay ladies, are they gone?

First, my little problem cleared up.  Solved itself.  Almost four weeks late, but better late than never!

Obviously I'm happy not to be pregnant, have cancer, or some other womanly medical issue.  But the other reason I'm happy is because about six weeks ago, I bought a Diva Cup and have been weirdly looking forward to trying it out.

Let me explain...

Growing up, I was never one to have bad menstrual cramps or extremely heavy flows.  But over the last few years, since having Thing 1 and Thing 2, it seems like this has changed.  In fact, my cramping is so painful now, that almost every month, I have at least one day where all I want to do is take some Pamprin, lay in bed and sleep.

Recently I was doing some research into ways to deal with these painful cramps, and came across a blog written by a woman who has endometreosis.  She said that one of the things her doctor had recommended to battle her own problems was to stop using tampons, because (to paraphrase) once a month you are sticking an object made up of nasty chemicals up your who-ha.  Some suggestions of things to use instead...pads (yuck, no way!) or a menstrual cup (what is that).


I don't know if I'd ever heard of menstrual cups before.  If I had, I just dismissed them and didn't really consider them long enough to remember.

I'm not going to bother boggling you down with all of the facts, when there are so many great websites on the facts and benefits of menstrual cups. (How to Use A Menstrual Cup)

I'll just give you my experience.

1. Putting it in the first time was weird.  But it's gotten easier and less weird every time.

2. Taking it out the first time was hard.  I started to panic a little, thinking I might have to go to the ER.  But I relaxed, kept baring down (practice your kegels ladies!), and used some toilet paper to get a better grip.  Then, the trick is (at least for me), to rock it back and forth as you pull down.  And again, like putting it in, it's gotten much easier each time I take it out.  (And much faster)

3. Like a tampon, I can't feel it when it is in place.

4. I like that it is re-usable: environment.  I used cloth diapers for my boys partly because I wanted to reduce my non-biodegradable waste footprint, but had never really thought about how much waste I was putting into the environment myself every month.

5. I like that it is re-usable: financial.  I got my cup off Amazon.com for $23 + shipping.  I've read that one cup, properly cared for, usually lasts about one year.  That should save me a good chunk of change, considering I'd spend at least that for a two month supply of disposable tampons.

6. I've experienced no leaking.  None.  Not a drop.  (Knock on wood!)

Anyway, I know this blog is TMI.  But, I just wanted to share in case there were other women out there who had never heard of menstrual cups either and would be interested in giving them a shot.

To cut or not to cut

This week, CNN.com had an article detailing why a woman and her husband decided not to circumcise their son, which made me think back to when we made the choice for our sons...

Of course we've all heard for decades about the health benefits of circumcision: it's been thought to be more sanitary and help prevent the spread of infections and sexually transmitted diseases like AIDS.

But right before we had Thing 1 and Thing 2, the medical opinion pendulum started swinging, and some doctors were speaking out that there aren't any clear medical benefits to circumcision.  How confusing for soon-to-be-parents.  Do you believe the old research?  Or the new research?

As I've pointed out before, just because someone wears scrubs to work does not mean they know what is best for your child.  So, Superman and I decided to ignore the conflicting medical data all together and weigh our own personal thoughts and opinions on whether to cut or not.

1. Like father, like son.  A few weeks back, Thing 1 and Thing 2 were in the bathtub with Superman, and Thing 1 was particularly interested in daddy's pee-pee.  From the other room, I could hear Superman saying things like ""Don't touch daddy's pee-pee please."  When he got out of the bath, Thing 1 ran into my bedroom and said "mommy, daddy has a big pee-pee."  Yes, honey.  "Mommy, I want a big pee-pee like daddy."  Superman, without missing a beat says "you'll get yours one day, kid."

It is normal for kids to want to be like their parents.  And I think it is natural for kids to be curious about their parents' bodies.  Thing 1 and Thing 2 don't care about having a big pee-pee to impress future lovers, they just want to look like their daddy.  Superman is circumcised, so it seemed to us that it would make the most sense if they boys were circumcised, too.

2. Boys will be boys.  Whether you like it or not, the majority of boys in this country are circumcised.  which means during gym class, the boys will be undressing with other boys, most of whom will be circumcised.  Superman said he vividly remembers the one kid in his class who wasn't circumcised being teased, and he didn't want the same future for our boys

Now, this is a pretty liberal college town, so I honestly think that wouldn't have been a factor.  In fact, one of their good friends isn't circumcised, and he is the one who asked them what happened to their skin!

So here is the naked truth.  Here is my main reason for circumcising the boys...

3. Hoods are ugly.  Okay, let's face it.  The one-eyed snake monster is not the prettiest piece of human anatomy in the first place, but put a turtleneck on it and it's down right science fiction looking.  The woman in the article had never seen one in person before, but I've dated my share of European men, and I can say with confidence that as a woman I much prefer the naked version.  (Sorry dad if you are reading this)

I've heard people talk about decreased sensitivity, blah, blah, blah.  But like I said, I have had partners on both sides of the aisle, and they all seemed to have similar experiences.  I certainly wouldn't say uncircumcised men were more sexual or experienced heightened sexual experiences.  So yes, I did it for cosmetic reasons.

I will say, I had the unfortunate experience of witnessing part of the circumcision.  The doctor was performing the procedure in the nursery while I happened to be coming in to store my pumped milk, and I heard one of my babies crying.  It was the first time I'd heard them cry really hard.  And of course it made me cry, too.  But I never regretted my decision.  They were over the pain quickly.  They healed nicely.  And now they have perfect little pee-pees!

What has become of us?

So, I mentioned before that I've decided to curtail my Facebook usage during Lent in order to replace that wasted time with more meaningful interactions with family and friends.  I decided that logging on to Facebook one time a day for approximately five minutes to upload some pics, check a few status updates, etc. was a reasonable amount of time spent on the great time waster.  Before going "off-line" I changed my notification settings so that I would still receive emails with FB messages, comments posted directly to my page, and comments on my pictures and/or status updates.  However, I would no longer receive updates in my inbox for things like comments on things I'd commented on.  My reasoning was that messages to my FB inbox, comments on my wall, comments on my status updates were akin to someone sending me an email.  They are people directly contacting me.  So, I can read them in my email like I would any other email, but to respond, I have to either a.) email them (if I know their address), b.) call and/or text them (if I have their number), or c.) wait a day to respond.

What I'm finding, now three weeks into my Lenten sacrifice, is that I'm not missing interaction with my friends so much.  I'm still seeing their pics when I log in for my five minutes.  I'm still corresponding with them by email.  In fact, I talking to them on the phone and texting more now.  As far as that goes, it's been fairly easy to adjust to in my first 21 days.

What is interesting, is what is harder to adjust to: Not being able to tell everyone what I'm doing and/or what I'm feeling and/or thinking all of the time.  It's amazing how my mind works in status updates these days.  Last night was my final night volunteering at the winter homeless shelter and as I'm driving to the church I'm thinking of my status update "Last night of the IWS emergency shelter.  It's been a long cold winter, and I'm proud to know I helped make some people's lives easier."  When the drunk pregnant teenage girl came in my thought was "The smoking pregnant women here don't bother me nearly as much as the obviously drunk ones."  Leaving the shelter I was so tired, so when I got home, I popped an ambien and thought: "Just took an ambien.  Hope to be in dreamland very soon.  Tomorrow comes bright and early"  I feel COMPELLED to share these tidbits of my life.  Why?  The first one, maybe to brag a little.  Give myself a virtual slap on the back, knowing that others will probably give me an atta-girl also for my "good deed."  The second, to judge?  To passive aggressively show that I'm a much better person because I would never have drunk or smoke during my pregnancy.  The third, just to complain about my mundane routine.

I've have impulses now and again to update something I just have to share via my Ping account, which updates my FB and twitter at the same time (I have also given up twitter as a by-product).  It's not technically logging onto FB, so that isn't cheating, right?  Wrong!  I have to fight the urge by instead emailing or calling a friend who I think might be interested in what I have to say.  Or better yet, just keep the thought to myself!  (What a concept!)  And then, if it is still so important to share, I can share it during the next morning's log in (all but once, I've forgotten by the next morning).

My point is, I think that we compulsive FB users are addicted to over-sharing.  We:

• list the mundane details of our life "Just finished grocery shopping.  Now waiting in line at the post office.  Ugh, gotta make it home in time for American Idol."
• share TMI "Wish this stomach bug would go away.  I threw up twice already this morning.  I don't think I can ever eat spaghetti again."  (Thanks for that, now neither can I.)  
• air our dirty laundry "My lying cheating ex is now saying he wants a paternity test, because he doesn't think the baby is his.  How dare he!  Considering all the sluts he was sleeping with while he was supposedly with me."
• brag on ourselves "Finished day 75 of my P90X, now off to drink a protein shake."
• make grandiose emotional declarations for no reason "My husband is the best husband ever.  I love him sooooo much."

The list goes on and on.  And really, does anyone care?  I mean, I'm glad that I have reconnected with that guy I used to sit next to in Chemistry class in 10th grade.  He was nice.  But I'm not really interested that he got a 120 on bowling last night.  He's alive, he's happy, he has a job, a pretty wife, and cute kids.  That's really where my interest wains off...see you at the next reunion. And somethings I just don't WANT to know about people! I liked you just fine acquaintance of mine until I read you spouting off your militant conspiracy ideas.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE reading and sharing this information with my good friends.  But out of 341 (all of whom I do know in real life in some manner), there are only about 20, maybe 25 that I really care about whether or not their child just poo-pooed on the potty for the first time.

Why have that many friends then?  Well, first of all, I don't really.  I have taken to "hiding" friends in mass, so I'm only actually seeing a small number of my "friends."  (So, if you are someone who posts a lot of TMI or Farmville updates, I'm sorry if your goldfish died and I didn't express my condolences, but I hid you from my Feed a long time ago.)  But the other thing, I feel guilty when someone I know/knew in real life friends me.  I feel like I have to accept them.  Then I give them about 10 status updates or so before I decide to let them stay on my NewsFeed or disappear into the hidden friend zone.  What are the most sure fire ways to be exiled from my newsfeed...prothlesizing, radical political rants, being a Debbie-downer, Farmville/Mafia/Vampire, discussing bodily functions (although I do give passes for children's potty training stories and or milestones) and much much more.

Then there is knowing when someone has hidden you.  You know that person who you know in real life who comments on all of your mutual friends pictures and status updates, but never on yours, yea...you got the ax.  If they ask how you got so tan when you just came back from a vacation to Florida, which you've had countdowns on your FB page for 2 weeks leading up to the trip, updates on your page during the trip, and even photos already up of your trip, yea...they took a vacation from your profile a long time ago.

The weird thing is, it actually kind of hurts your feelings, okay maybe not yours, but it does mine.  Rationally, I know that I hide a lot of people, but when I realize that someone I haven't been hiding, someone I've obviously deemed interesting enough and worthy for me to read about their mundane life, is hiding me.  It does smart to know that you did something on their list of offenses to not make the cut.  Or maybe you are just not interesting enough for them?  It all goes back to our desire to share.  We want our voices to be heard, and we want to make sure someone is listening to us.  To somehow validate it.

What do I do when I realize someone has most likely hidden me?  I hide them.  Yea, it's probably pretty childish.  Immature.  But hey, no one is perfect, and I never claimed to be.  I feel like if they don't care to keep up with what is going on in my life, then why on god's good earth should I spend part of my five minutes a day reading over theirs.  I just keep whittling my news feed down, and whittling it down,  and eventually, I'll have few enough actual friends that getting on FB just once a day for a few minutes might be a reality that lasts way past April 24.

To read some really funny examples of oversharing, visit Lamebook.com