Glass half full?

So, I saw one of those "Had Enough Vote Republican" signs this morning that had "Had" covered with "Dumb". And I thought "hey, that isn't nice..."

So I was thinking...

I love lots of Democrats and lots of Republican. I don't consider any of them bad. Or dumb. (Well, okay, maybe some...on both sides, but maybe not dumb, maybe just uninformed/uneducated. Educated with a small "e" not a big "E").

So I started thinking: What is the major difference between the Democrats and Republicans I know?

And I think I have it figured out.

Half full or half empty?

Most of the Democrats I know are optimists.

They think people are generally good, and that people using welfare just need some help and won't abuse the system.

They think that God and Jesus love us and aren't out to smite us at every turn.

They think that universal health care is to protect us and care for us, not to sentence us to death panels.

They trust that women will make the right decisions when given the choice.

They think love is love and that just because someone loves differently than them, doesn't mean every one else is going to go to hell in a hand basket.

They trust that teachers and school systems will take resources given to them and make the best decisions with only the welfare of our children forefront in their mind.



And most of the Republicans I know are pessimists.

They think people are generally going to take advantage of the system when given the opportunity. 

They think that God and Jesus are great punishers and that we are all going to hell for our sinful ways.

They think that universal health care is a scheme to kill off old people and deny people the care they need.

They think that giving women access to abortion and/or birth control is going to destroy our population because no one will get pregnant, and when they do they'll just go have an abortion.

They think that legally allowing gays to love one another will affect every one else's family.

They think that teachers are lazy and won't really work unless we force them by having mandatory check ups (standardized tests).


Don't look at the issues... take your own personal feelings out of it for a second. And just examine the polarity of each idea. It seems to me (admittedly a Democrat) that it's not about someone being dumb or not. It's not about whether they love god enough or are a "real America". It seems that Democrats just seem to be a little more optimistic about the world and Pollyanna about the people in it. And Republicans just seem to be a little more pessimistic about the world and Schopenhauer about the people in it.

So maybe if we can think of one another as optimists and pessimists, instead of idiots and assholes...maybe we can all just get along!

Or at least quit putting one another down. :(

It's my choice

I'm sick of all this rhetoric surrounding abortion that focuses in on exceptions for rape and incest, because the fact of the matter is the majority of women I know have admitted to me that they, at one point in their life, have had an abortion, and not one of the women I personally know told me it was a result of rape or incest. 

Yes, women and girls who are victim of rape and incest sometimes end up pregnant and sometimes that pregnancy will end in an abortion. And those women should be protected. No questions. However, I feel like this defense always subtly implies that those are the only truly valid and legitimate reasons to terminate a pregnancy. I believe in my heart that there are many, many, many legitimate reasons to terminate. #1 Because the pregnancy is detrimental to the mother's health and/or puts the mother's life at risk. #2 Because there is something very wrong with the baby. #3 The mother isn't financially, emotionally, or mentally capable of having the baby. #4 The mother simply doesn't want to have a/another child. (And I'm sure plenty other good reasons I don't even know about.)

Let me be very frank: I have had two abortions. I had one in the Spring of 1995 when I was 16 years old. And because not only was I young and dumb enough to think it "can't happen to me", I was young and dumb enough to think lightening wouldn't strike twice...so I had another one in the Spring of 1996 when I was 17 years old.

Many pro-life activists insist abortions are unhealthy for women because they affect their mental health due to living with terrible regret and guilt for the rest of their lives. Let me make this clear: I do not, and have never regretted my abortions. I did not regret them when I graduated high school (which statistically I would not have). I did not regret them when I graduated college (which statistically I would not have). I did not regret them when I graduated graduate school (which statistically I would not have). I did not regret them when I married my husband (who I never would have traveled to grad school and met) and went on to have two beautiful little boys (which I would not have if I had not met my husband).

What I DO regret...being in the position to have to make that decision in the first place. I do regret that I was not responsible using birth control. When I was a teenager, my boyfriend and I used condoms, most of the time. My mother knew I was sexually active (I actually did tell her myself), but her strategy wasn't to take me to the OBGYN and get me on the pill, it was to tell me not to do it again. P.S. Note to other mothers: that didn't work! Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming her. My actions are my own, but I guarantee you I will approach birth control differently with my children. Even if I have to drive my sons' girlfriends to Planned Parenthood myself!

When I was 18 years old, I went to the OBGYN myself and got on the pill. And for almost 10 years I was on the pill and had NOT ONE pregnancy scare. When I was 27 years old, I went off the pill, and two months later I found out I was pregnant with twins. Birth control WORKS people!! (Don't let me get started on the whole birth control debate going on right now!)

Returning to my first statement, about the number of women I know who've had abortions: My point is it's more common than you think. I know many women who I would never dream would have had one, have whisperedly told me "I had one..." It's like this deep dark secret people don't discuss. And why would they? It's a PERSONAL matter. I don't discuss my other personal medical matters with people, so why would I discuss that?

This blog is the first time I'm going "public" with my abortions because for the sake of women's reproductive rights, maybe we need to start putting faces and stories to abortions. While I want to protect abortion rights for rape and incest victims and women facing health issues; I also want to protect that 16 year old honor student, who is captain of the debate team, plays varsity softball, and wants to be the first person in her family to go to college, who also just happens to find time to get a little frisky with her 17 year old boyfriend when she's not busy with all of her other extra curricular activities...and finds herself in a very frightening situation.

Am I saying that is what every person in my situation should do? NO! Every woman (or teenager) has to decide for HERSELF what she wants to do when faced with an unplanned pregnancy. Being pro-choice doesn't mean you are pro-abortion, it's means you are pro-CHOICE. You are pro a woman/teenager being able to say 1. I want to continue this pregnancy and parent, 2. I want to continue this pregnancy and put up the baby for adoption, and 3. I do not want to continue this pregnancy. It should be HER CHOICE that she should make with her partner and her doctor.

Someone close to me who didn't know about my abortions (but will now if they read my blog) once said to me that teenage girls who got pregnant out of wedlock had to "deal with the consequences of their actions." I can't tell you how much statements like these blow my mind. You know that bumper sticker that says "It's not a choice, it's a baby"? Well how about, "It's not a consequence, it's a baby." If someone fails their driver's ed class, do you give them a brand new car? Because someone "fails" their birth control, you don't hand them a child. A life. Here, let me punish your irresponsibility by giving you a child to care for. That logic is as clear as mud!

Not to toot my own horn, but I'm a pretty good mom. I'm not perfect by any means, but I'm pretty darn devoted to the health, happiness, and well being of my children. I was a pretty good teenager too, but I was still incredibly selfish and self-centered. I WAS NOT ready to be a mom. Not emotionally or mentally, and damn well not financially. I pity the child who would have been raised by 16 year old Amber. (And most likely not with the help of 16 year old Amber's 17 year old boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, he grew up to become a fine dad when he was much older, but would have been a "dead beat" back then for sure.)

Have plenty of other teenagers in my position made different decisions? Sure. That's their prerogative. Not everyone has to agree. But just as I can't force my will that teenagers should not have babies, and instead graduate high school, college, grad school, and then get married in their late 20s only after they have started their own career.... No one can force their belief that forces someone else to carry through with an unwanted, unhealthy, or unsupported pregnancy. This is America. We have freedoms. We have choices. And for god's sake...quit trying to take them away!!

Christmas Under Attack

So, apparently GOP nominee-wannabe Rick Perry says that “our kids can’t openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school.”

I agree that political correctness can sometimes be taken ridiculously far.  But, c'mon people, do you really believe the "majority" of Americans really feeling persecuted on this one?  I was a student too long ago to give my personal experience as a student, but I was just a teacher in public schools a few years ago, and we still had Christmas in school (I loved our ugly Christmas sweater contests!)

Heck, I was visiting an elementary school earlier this week and they had a write a "letter to Santa" bulletin board. And I live in a very liberal college town with a lot of international students. If Christmas is still in OUR schools...I have a feeling it's not the epidemic Rick Perry wants you to think it is.

"No prayer in school" does not mean prayer in school is illegal (you will not get sent to jail, or even detention for praying in school), it just means no organized prayer in school.  No mandated prayer in  school. No one (teacher, principal, coach, etc) can force anyone to pray, thereby also pressing their personal religious beliefs on a child. Your child.  Think about it...I have a colleague who is Muslim and is a social studies teacher at a local middle school. What do you think most Christians would do if SHE led a prayer in her class?! They'd freak the fuck out! Freak. The. FUCK. Out. They'd be picketing. Rioting. No, burning the freaking school down.

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating.  A little.

But most Christians I know would be really upset about that. To say the least.

Every school, every morning during announcements (at least every school I've ever attended or taught at or visited for any other reason) observes a moment of silence. This is a moment (about a minute or so) set aside for both the students and staff to take a moment to relax, be calm, and reflect on their coming day. An opportunity for those who feel so inclined to say a prayer. And they can start it for themselves as "Dear God" "Our Heavenly Father" "My Creator" or "Dear Lord baby Jesus", or however else they personally feel compelled to pray. Because religion is, and should always be, a personal choice. A BELIEF if you will.

I attend and am a member of a Christian church. But occasionally, we attend other churches, most commonly my in-law's church. And even though both of our churches are Christian, I get uncomfortable during parts of their service and many of their prayers, because our churches just have such different interpretations of things. I often will block out what is being prayed and say my own, different, silent prayer in my head. One that fits my beliefs.

I can almost hear it now "well, children who believe differently or don't want to pray could do the same thing." But here is a huge difference: #1 I am choosing to be sitting in that church. No one forces me to go, not even my in-laws. Children do not have a choice to go to school. #2 I am a grown adult with formed beliefs, and those people in the pulpit of my in-laws church are not my role models or mentors or authority figures.  I can easily distinguish between what they tell me and what I personally believe.  Children are typically much more easily influenced than that.  And bottom line is, if my children are praying, I want them to pray prayers that are meaningful to them and their beliefs, not their teachers, or classmates, or some government official somewhere hundreds of miles from their classroom.

From Slacktivist to Activist

I think most people are aware of the demonstrations that went on in Madison, WI during the beginning of the year.  For weeks and weeks, throngs of protesters swarmed the state capitol to protest what they perceived to be anti-union legislation, many sleeping in the building for days on end.  Those protesters were a constant reminder to the state representatives of the large numbers of citizens who did not support the anti-union legislation they were trying to pass through.  But they passed it anyway.

Madison, WI Capitol Building - April 9, 2011

What I don't think a lot of people realize (at least I know I didn't), is that even after the legislation was pushed through and the Democrats returned to the capitol that the peaceful protests continue.

Because both Superman and I are in the fields of education, we are particularly interested in political issues that affect teachers.  Not to mention, as parents, we are interested in issues about education, since they will affect our children in a year when they start kindergarten.  So, we've definitely been following this issue from Indiana.

When preparing for the trip to Madison, I actually thought to myself that I wished the protests were still going on, because I'd never seen a real life protest before.  So, imagine my surprise to find upon our arrival, that there were indeed still protesters actively protesting at the capitol each day.

Saturday, during my hour lunch break, I decided to head to State Street to do some souvenir shopping for Thing 1 and Thing 2.  (I thought a set of foam cheese heads from the University of Wisconsin bookstore was in order.) But, while walking over, I got side tracked when I heard some live rock music playing, and I slowly went towards the source.  I found on the steps of the capitol building: The Gomers and a growing crowd of protestors with homemade signs.  A few minutes later, I heard some different music behind me.  A hodge podge marching band was making it's way directly up State Street and then circled the capitol, before heading up the steps.

I was officially in the middle of my first ever political protest.  I decided to skip my shopping trip (I did venture out later that evening to pick up the souvenirs for the boys) and skip my lunch, so that I could document and experience history in the making.  I talked with a lot of union workers, Democrats and Republicans, and heard their real voices, their real concerns...not just what the media decides to report on.  And I let them know that this educator, this parent, this citizen, was behind them.

I even got Superman a souvenir from a street vender:

Click here for more pictures of the protest.