It's working! Isn't it?

It's working, internets!

Remember a few days ago, I told you about Thing 2's bedwetting problem?

He has been wearing the GoodNites® Underwear now since Saturday night and he hasn't woken up with wet pajamas once.  Every morning, except for one, he has woken up with a very saturated pull-up, but nothing else has gotten wet.  Meaning: I haven't had to change his sheets even once this week!!

Wednesday night, when Superman and I went out for our date night, Grandma and Grandpa Train came up to babysit for us.  They haven't been around much lately, due to some unfortunate family drama (oh, that is a-whole-nother blog of it's own, internet), so they did not know about the whole bed-wetting dilemma.  So when we told them not to forget to put Thing 2's pull ups on when getting him ready for bed, she was surprised.  (They haven't worn any potty training anything in over a year.)  We were in a rush to leave for the concert, so we didn't stay and discuss it very long.

This morning, I was talking to her on the phone and she mentioned that she had this conversation with him before bed.:

Grandma: You need to go potty before bed.
Thing 2: No I don't.  I have my pull-ups on, so I can just pee in them.

Uh-oh.

Grandma voiced her concern that by letting him use the pull-ups that maybe he will become dependent on them and not pee in the toilet on purpose.

But, I don't think so internet.  I truly think that at this point, it is truly a medical issue for my little one.  And that the pull-ups are helping us all get a good night's sleep.  (We are used to good sleep in our house.)

I think for right now, he sees the pull-ups as a novelty.  Something special that he has, that his brother doesn't.  Kind of like how when I was a kid I was weirdly proud of my cast for the first few days, but then got annoyed that I couldn't play or go swimming like my friends could.

I think, eventually, Thing 2 will become embarrassed of his pull ups, and not want to wear them. (I'm just cringing in anticipation of the day that Thing 1 tells him "you wear a diaper, and diapers are for babies")  And I will do my best to try and comfort him that they are nothing to be ashamed of.  And that he just wears them to help him stay dry at night.  And isn't it better than waking up all wet?

I am still confident that this is the right choice for us right now.  And really hope that he grows out of this phase sooner rather than later....

A common problem

Thing 1 and Thing 2 have been completely potty trained for about a year now.  In fact, last year we got them big boy beds for their 4th birthday to celebrate the achievement.  We had made a conscious decision to wait to get the big boy beds until after they were nighttime trained, because we didn't want them ruining the new linens and mattresses with accidents.  Just to be on the safe side though, we did buy vinyl mattress covers for that occasional accident.

And for months, we had what seemed like no accidents.

Then, Thing 2 began having the occasional nighttime accident.

Then it became 2-3 times a week.

Then it became almost every other night.  Around this time, I actually put a post on Facebook asking for some advice.  I got a lot of "make sure he empties his bladder before bedtime", "don't let him drinking anything for two hours before bedtime", and "layer a mattress cover and a sheet, then another mattress cover and sheet to pull off at night."  But the accidents continued.

Then, around Christmas time, it seemed like the accidents were getting less frequent again. 

But after the new year, they came back, and more frequent than ever.  In fact, for a little over a month now, Thing 2 has wet the bed every single night.  Every night between 2 am and 4 am I hear the crying "Mommy!  Mommy!" and I go in to find him standing by his bed crying "my pajamas are wet".  And I help him peel off the soaked clothes, then bring him into bed with us.

Exhausted (both from the amount of sleep I was losing and the extra loads of laundry I was doing), I decided to turn to the internet for some help.  I put up a plea on Facebook, asking any of my friends for serious advice.  One mom suggested I check out GoodNites® Underwear, which she said were designed for older kids who had night time accidents.  So I began doing some research on them, and what I found out was that my son was exhibiting textbook symptoms of nocturnal enuresis, also known as bed wetting.

Bedwetting is common.  In fact, according to some research, as many as 1 in 10 children ages 4-11 experience chronic bed wetting.  And the vast majority of these are boys.  Moreover, bedwetting typically starts just as it did with Thing 2.  They are completely potty trained (even at night) and then they slowly start having accidents.  Then often seem to get better.  Then the accidents get more and more frequent.

I won't go into lots of detail here about the facts about bed wetting, and how to deal with it, because there are already tons of great resources out there (especially on Goodnights.com), so I don't feel the need to reinvent the wheel.  I'll just end the blog on these last notes.

1. If your child is having night accidents, I strong urge you to check out Goodnights.com for more information on bedwetting.  They have lots of wonderful resources and articles to read.
2. Don't be afraid to put your child back into training pants.  We invested in some GoodNites® Underwear this weekend, and I am so glad we did.  First, they are specially made for kids 4 and up (are very absorbent!) and specifically designed for being used while lying down.  I was skeptical that they could keep Thing 2's pajamas and bedclothes completely dry at night, but two nights in a row they have!  That pull-up is saturated, but everything else was dry.  And the pull-up didn't feel wet to the touch either (sorry, I know that is gross, but I had to...it is on my baby boy's skin, I had to make sure he isn't going to develop rashes from the moisture).
3. Don't make your child feel bad for his bedwetting!  This is a physical issue, not one of obstinance or laziness.  It was hard to show Thing 2 a lot of sympathy at 3 am in the morning, but I tried very hard to remember that he wasn't doing it on purpose.  I tried to use sympathetic tones and tell him it was okay, that we had plenty of clean and dry pajamas to put on.
   I was afraid that he would be resistant to the pull ups, and say "those are for babies".  But I explained to him before I went to buy them that I was going to get him some underwear that would help him not make his pajamas wet.  He seemed fine with this.  Then, when we were getting ready for bed, I again talked to him about how these would help keep his pajamas and bed dry all night.  But I didn't have to do much explaining, because he put them on with no reservations. In fact, he seemed very happy about the idea.  I had to remind myself that I'm sure he doesn't enjoy waking up in a puddle of his own urine anymore than I enjoy waking up at 2 am and changing him out of urine soaked clothes.
4. YOU (and your child) ARE NOT ALONE!  I will say that ever since I found that Goodnights.com site, I feel so much better.  Just knowing that my child is not the only "potty-trained" 4 year old having this problem, I am just, I don't know...relieved.  Also, it makes me less afraid to talk about the issue.  I just wish I hadn't waited so long to ask for help.

As a parent, I have already faced many things that haven't gone as planned: not having a normal pregnancy, when the boys wouldn't/couldn't nurse, their speech delays, etc.  Now my child bedwetting.  It's disappointing and frustrating, because we just want our parenting and our children to be "normal."  But I have never been one to sit back and pretend like if I don't deal with it, it will go away.  So my child is a bedwetter.  That does not define him.  And one day he will outgrow this and probably will barely even remember it. In the meanwhile, we will just love him, and be supportive, and reassuring, and let him know that this is natural and nothing to be ashamed of.