Tuesday, March 29, 2011

FML!


So, this has been my morning so far...

1st Thing 2 did not want to wake up this morning, so I dressed him in his sleep (actually, this was probably the best/easiest part of my morning).

2nd I spent about 20 min trying to find the rotten milk smell in the house.  Didn't find it.  But I think I've narrowed it down to two rooms.  I know what I'm doing tonight.  Ugh!

3rd Got into a fight with Thing 1 because he asked for o.j. with his waffles, but while I was dressing Thing 2 he went in the fridge and got out the orange kool-aid.  But instead of letting him play with the two liquids (they like to pour them back and forth in cups, usually ending when something is spilled), I poured his glass of untouched o.j. back into the container (don't judge!) and poured him a cup of orange kool-aid instead.  At which point he started screaming, crying, throwing himself on the ground as if I'd beat him and screaming that he wanted orange juice.  I felt terrible and frustrated because I was just trying to give him what he wanted.  I hugged him, got him to calm down and explained that the only reason I took away his o.j. in the first place was because he said he wanted koolaid.  He was sniffling and mumbling "yea" with tear stained cheeks.  I put both in front of him and asked "which one do you want?"  "Orange-choose," pointing to the o.j.  UGH!!

4th Boys didn't want to put on coats (fast forward to when they were outside, complaining about how cold their ears and hands were).

5th At 8:15 am, I was at the door.  On time, unbelievably despite the morning, and had my hands full with a package to mail, my purse, my lunch box, two coats (see 4 above), and my Green Monster smoothie I have every morning (think bright green shake consistency drink).  And I spilled my smoothie!!  All over me!  (jacket! pants! shoes!) The living room floor!  The couch!  My purse!  My package!  My lunch box!  The only thing spared was the boys' coats.  I stood there yelling every cuss word I'd ever heard.  Then I calmly said "Boys, would you please get mommy a towel?"  They stood still watching me with wide eyes.  "Please, someone go get me a towel."  No movement.  "Thing 1.  Thing 2.  Go get mommy a towel, please."  Finally, Thing 1 went and got me a kitchen towel.  I spent the next 30 minutes cleaning up the shake.  The floor was still slightly sticky after two mops.  So much for being on time this morning.  UGH!!!

6th I get to work and get on the elevator crammed with people.  I say the customary "Hit 7 please".  I see the young college student in her pajamas holding her expensive coffee hit a button, so I assume she knows her numbers and stick my nose in the paper.  I look up when we stop on 6.  I tuck my newspaper underneath my arm, preparing for my floor next.  But wait, then we go all the way up to 10!  SHE DIDN'T PRESS MY BUTTON.  Ugh.  So I have to ride all the way up to 15.  Stopping I swear on every floor on the way up.  As the elevator clears, I make my way to the side with the panel.  I PRESS 7.  Re-open my newspaper and settle in for the ride up and back down.  When I feel we are starting to go down again, I close my newspaper and look up, just in time to see 8, 7, 6.  WTF????  Apparently if you hit 7 on the way up, it clears once you get to the top??!?!  So I had to ride it all the way down to the ground level.  Then all the way back up to the top.  At 9:15 am, height of use, which means it was stopping just about every other floor.

7th I check my email.  The public library sends me an email that I owe $24.99 for a DVD we rented 3 weeks ago.  For some reason it didn't recognize my renewal last week (though it did the other DVDs I renewed at the same time).  On top of that, it was due back on Saturday, and we returned the case...without the DVD inside.  $24.99 for a crappy movie about fish that they boys watched exactly one time.  I sent back an email saying I thought this was incorrect.  Then I forwarded it all to Superman and asked him to figure it out...I just can't deal with it this morning.

Yes, we have our health, a warm roof over our head, blah-blah-yada-yada-yada...but some mornings just make you wonder why the hell you got out of bed.

I just sent my boss an email that I will be taking Thursday off as a personal day.  I need some quiet time with a glass of no-no-juice and a hot bath.

Who am I kidding?  I'll spend the day searching for the freaking source of the rotten milk smell!

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